


On a Saturday Evening, No Less

by HermioneSpencer



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, literally nothing else, plz don't get excited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 21:50:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7285987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermioneSpencer/pseuds/HermioneSpencer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cosima has some difficulty in gathering everything she needs for her dinner.<br/>It's Delphine's fault, obviously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On a Saturday Evening, No Less

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SianRuns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SianRuns/gifts).



> This is for Sian, even though she properly stressed me out when I was trying to get it finished. Blamer _her_ for all of my mistakes. I'm sure she won't mind ;)

_Cucumber, lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, and that salad dressing Alison recommended to me.  That’s all I need for an accompanying salad, right?  I have everything else at home already._

Pursing her lips, Cosima looked closely at the contents of her basket, full of vegetables.

_Chill, Cos, you’re getting a vegetarian pizza, aren’t you?  You’re hardly gonna be lacking in anything healthy._

Nodding to herself, she picked up her basket again and held it in the crook of her arm.

_Not a bad haul for an emergency dinner grocery trip, on a Saturday evening, no less._

She trundled off from the fruit and vegetable section of the supermarket and headed off to get the main event of what her dinner would contain tonight: the pizza.

It was a little further into the shop, but it was nearing 6 o’clock on a Saturday evening, so the only people left in the shop were harassed young families with mothers who had attempted to get the family out of the house to the shop all day, and people who had clearly just finished their day’s work, so Cosima wasn’t too worried about the amount of space she had around her.  With her handbag in her spare hand, she swung it around on its strap, her head nodding to the beat of the music that played in her headphones.

Coming up to area where she normally found the pizzas, she was shocked to see that there was…hardly anything there.

_What?  It’s Saturday evening!  You can’t run out of pizza on a Saturday!_

Shaking her head in bemusement, she hurried forward to see what she could salvage from the ruin that was the pizza fridge, but it wasn’t looking hopeful. 

_Pepperoni…ham and pineapple…pepperoni with hot dog stuffed crust?  No way.  Is there not even one single mozzarella pizza?_

She ran back and forth along the barren fridge, hoping her eyes would find something she had missed, but upon the third time of walking up, she was sure there was nothing for her.  Only upon the fourth lap did she spot a pizza box hiding beneath another that claimed to contain a “Pizza Pie Duo” that made Cosima feel kind of ill looking at it.  She dashed forward, but as she did so, she felt a strong force to her right side as she collided with something.  Grabbing the pizza box that _was_ her beloved vegetarian pizza, she straightened up, and saw that there was a whole other unexpected hand holding onto the other side of the box.  Quickly taking her headphones off, she looked up, expecting someone about to shout abuse at her. 

She was _pleasantly_ surprised.

“Oh, _desolée_ , I suppose that you are the poor person with whom I crashed into?” came a soft _French_ voice from, like, waaaay above Cosima’s head.

_Shit, I’m looking at her cleavage.  What do I do about that?  I’ve kind of done it for too long, it’s embarrassing if I look her in the eye now… do I pretend to have a buggy eye?  Blink a lot, that’ll do the trick._

Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she opened them and regarded the woman opposite her.  Blinking again, she finally looked up at the woman’s face.

She was _pleasantly_ surprised.

Swallowing, she tried to remember what the woman had said.

“Oh, erm, yeah, well, I suppose I could say the same thing, right?  It’s probably my fault, I was kinda hurrying.  I’m sorry.”  She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, wondering what came next.  They were, after all, _both_ holding this box of pizza.

The woman, who was tall, French (apparently) and blonde with beautifully curling hair, looked at Cosima kindly.

“ _Non,_ I will not accept your apology… you see, I was also hurrying.  I thought I had spotted the last vegetarian pizza in the whole shop, and… it seems that I was correct, _non?_ ” she smirked at Cosima, and tapped the top of the pizza box with the nails of her free hand.  Cosima grew suspicious. 

 _Why is she smiling?  Is she trying to distract me so that she can run away with my pizza?_  

Just to be safe, Cosima tightened her grip of the box perceptibly.  The woman noticed and a tiny frown marred the gap between her beautiful, shapely eyebrows.  She continued talking.

“I suppose that now, it becomes a game of tug and war, as I think it is called…” she trailed off uncertainly.  Cosima snorted.

“Please, you would overpower me with a tap of your pinkie,” she grinned, regaining some of her brain back after the collision.  “Instead… I propose… an argument of worthiness.”

“Worthiness?” the woman raised an eyebrow sceptically.

“Yes.  Worthiness.  May I be cheeky enough to ask for your name?” she leant forward in what she hoped was a friendly manner.

“Delphine,” the blonde responded after a small moment’s hesitation.

“Cosima,” the brunette replied without missing a beat.

“ _Enchantée_.”

“ _Enchantée_ to you too!”  Cosima smiled.  “So, _Delphine_ , this is a spicy vegetarian pizza, made perfect by its sundried tomato and garlic sauce along with the red onions adding to the flavour, the mushrooms adding that unbeatable consistency when baked in bubbling Margherita, with the green and red peppers providing the eater with that kick of pure spicy deliciousness.  Tell me your story, and why you think _you_ deserve to go home with this masterpiece of a pizza more than I do – no lies, too, this is an _honest_ competition of _worthiness_.  Please, go ahead,” she winked at Delphine, and watched as Delphine looked at her, utterly bemused.  Both women still holding onto the pizza, Delphine took a moment to gather her thoughts before settling on the words she would use to win this bizarre argument.

“Ehm… Well, I suppose I must start at the beginning, _non?_ ”

“No better place to start,” Cosima grinned, encouraging Delphine to continue.

“ _Bon_.  Two months ago, a friend of mine convinced me to attempt to be a vegetarian for three months.  At first, it was novel.  I was eating goat’s cheese with asparagus quiches and spiced cauliflower roasts, but… now… I am, of course, two months in, and I am… getting desperate.  Real life has caught up with me.  Nobody has time to individually cook individual quiches and cauliflowers; it’s unattainable with my job requirements.  Nobody has time for any Michelin starred cooking. 

“I have just had a long day of work at the hospital, I had breakfast at 6:00, my lunch was donated to a little boy with a broken leg, and all I want to do is put a pizza in the oven, leave it, read a book, _eat_ the pizza, and then go to sleep.”  She finished her summary with a small nod, as if she was checking that she had covered everything she wanted to say.  Satisfied, she looked at Cosima, chewing on her bottom lip.

Cosima beamed at her.

“You’re a doctor?  Wow, those are some impressive credentials you got there-”

 _Don’t finish that sentence, Cos.  Just don’t do it._  “French, curly-haired, drop-dead gorgeous _and_ a doctor.”  Her mouth just sped on, and she couldn’t stop it, despite knowing how awkward it would make this poor woman feel.  “You know, for all of that, and the knowledge that you haven’t had lunch, I might be persuaded to think that you are worthy of the pizza…” she frowned with concentration, and then loosened her grip on the pizza box ever so slightly.

It was Delphine’s turn to frown.

“ _Non_ , fair is fair.  I cannot steal a pizza from a woman who may be worthy of it herself.  It is your turn.  Why are you worthy of the pizza?”

Cosima laughed nervously, but she started speaking.

“Okay, well, I have been a vegetarian for about two years now after a wake-up call proved to me that I needed to look after myself a little bit more.  Today was my first Saturday off from the labs in a very long time, but my sister had an emergency, so I was lumped with babysitting my two nieces on what could have been a perfect day.  I was going to celebrate my newfound freedom from little children by putting a pizza in the oven, make a lovely salad to go with it, and drink a glass of wine or two with my feet up.”

Her eyes flicked to their hands, which still held onto the box, but neither of them were holding on too tightly anymore.  Cosima suddenly had an idea.  Eye brightening, she looked back up at Delphine, her tongue poking out between her teeth at her delight of having thought up such a good idea.  “I have a solution.”

Delphine cocked her head to the side and looked at Cosima curiously.

“ _Oui?_   Please, I would love to resolve this minor conundrum we find ourselves in.”  She smiled nervously.  Cosima lifted up her trolley with her free arm, showing the blonde woman the contents.

“In here, I have ingredients for the salad that I would have made for the side.  It… erm… it could easily make enough for two…”

Delphine’s eyebrows shot upwards, and Cosima cringed.

 _What even made you think that was a good idea?  Obviously it wasn’t, you_ idiot! _There’s no way she likes you, especially when you’ve made a complete fool of yourself in front of her from the very beginning!  God, you’re so stu-_

“Tell me more.”

_What?_

A nervous smile fixed on her face, Cosima felt a small bead of sweat fall down the side of her face that made trying to keep a straight face _very_ difficult.

“You mean, you want me to, like, explain my idea more?”

“ _Oui._   We both want pizza, I want a way to eat it that is peaceful and… non-violent.  That’s what vegetarianism is all about, is it not?” she smirked.  Cosima let out a long breath, her heart calming down just a little bit.

“Okay, well, you’re kinda new to vegetarianism, and clearly struggling with keeping your resolve, so… if I cook you this meal, the spicy veggie pizza _and_ a salad to go with, all you have to do is… eat it.”

“Okay… so you are suggesting that we… share the pizza?”

“Exactly.”

“Okay.  That might work.  But how do we go about it?”

“You… can come to my house… unless you think I’m a weirdo – and I wouldn’t be surprised if you did – but, um, you could come to my house, and I would cook the meal for you, and I would help you relax with some good food and wine, and at the same time… we _both_ get the pizza.”

“Okay, so… if we are both eating, then how do we pay for the pizza?”

“I’ll buy it.”

“And – just to be sure – how do I know that you aren’t going to run off with… our… pizza the moment I let go of it?”

“I think this has become a high level trust exercise now, you will just have to put your faith in me and my cooking.  And you don’t have to let go of it until we get to the till – if that makes you feel better.  You can stand behind me and oversee everything, if you want to.”

“Well then.  I shall obviously have to go home to put away my own shopping,” she lifted up her basket to show Cosima, “but if you give me your address, then I shall arrive at your house in an hour and a half, if you live a reasonable distance from here, and demand that I get half a pizza.  As is my right.  As a hungry person.”

Cosima let out a giggle that shocked herself, but she was too delighted to care.

“Well then, _mademoiselle_ , and I hope you _are_ a mademoiselle, because otherwise your other half may be _very_ suspicious as to why you are traipsing across town to eat pizza and drink wine with a total stranger, please follow me.  I have a dinner to cook, and not enough time to cook it in.”

Cosima led Delphine towards the tills by the pizza box, which acted as a strange lead for the Frenchwoman, who seemed reluctant to let go of it still.

“An hour and a half is plenty of time to cook a pizza…”

“Not when cooking includes tidying your dining room after you’ve been looking after two children to make it acceptable for public viewing…”

“Of course, how silly of me…” the Frenchwoman laughed as they neared the tills.

They walked out of the supermarket not ten minutes later, Delphine vaguely threatening Cosima if she had given her the wrong address.

“I will find you, you small minx.  I have access to health records.”

“That’s not intimidating in the slightest,” Cosima joked.  Finally, they went their separate ways, knowing they would see each other again in only an hour and twenty minutes.

Nodding to herself as she drove away, Cosima beamed.  _Not a bad haul for an emergency dinner grocery trip, on a Saturday evening, no less._


End file.
